Cradle Snatching: Yay Or Nay?

Harry Styles & Caroline Flack

I wrote this article a while ago now, when Harry Styles and Caroline Flack were dating, hence the topic of conversation. However the theme can be applied to a whole host of celebrities, including Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher and every woman Hugh Hefner has ever dated.

Considering I am one of those people who sat in school and college entranced by my ever so sexy and indulgent fantasies involving nothing more than a desk and my teacher, I was genuinely surprised by my reaction when hearing about the relationship between Caroline Flack and Harry Styles. Apart from screaming”my eyes, my eyes!” when seeing a picture of the happy couple I experienced a deep feeling of uneasiness and a slight nausea, probably on the level one would have when imagining an old person naked and giving you a lap dance. Think the Queen starkers; all of those wobbly bits, roughly rubbing against your skin as she thrusts her hips into your horrified face. Well this is the exact feeling I felt when reading about this relationship; the sickness, not the grinding between my soft skin and said person’s wrinkles I should probably point out.

After this initial judging I sat down and thought ‘Honestly, what is the big deal?’. Does it make a difference how big the age gap is if you feel a mutual attraction towards each other? Should happiness be limited to age restrictions? Many questions could be asked here, with the majority of Britain turning against Caroline Flack and demanding to know what mental problem she must have to be sick enough to date a 17-year old boy. Now it may be true that Harry Styles is possibly one of the sexiest things to come out of Bolton and so one could argue that Caroline couldn’t help herself, with his cherub-like face and swagalicious dress sense proving to be too charming to say no to. However despite this some people even resorted to sending hate-mail, claiming that poor Caroline was a peadophile.

It got me thinking as to what kind of person would take the time out of their busy life to sit down and create a letter, probably containing little cut-out words from a newspaper, threatening somebody they will never meet’s life. Once I entertained the idea of it being anybody who is part of the Jeremy Kyle generation, making up in laziness and an abundance of no ambition for what they lack in teeth, I decided on a new theory.

My theory rests on the psychological defense mechanism known as projection, first coined by Sigmund Freud; a man famous for arguing that incestuous desires between a child and their mum was part of human development. Such a normal chap, Siggy was. Projection argues that within the human psyche we are wired to possess blatant denial of a psychological deficiency, which is perceived as a deficiency in another individual. Therefore I believe that these people who are so fiercely against such relationships embarked upon by the 17 year-old heartthrob and 32 year-old Xtra Factor presenter are actually in psychological turmoil because they possess a deficiency in being able to resist the allure of a young adult. Instead of pursuing their feelings and finding themselves a nice toyboy/toygirl, they instead externalise their feelings and settle them onto the shoulders of people like Caroline.

To me, as long as the object of your lust doesn’t wear nappies and suck a dummy at night in order to sleep then love knows no bounds. And if you are one of the lucky few to be the younger person, all I will advise is to ensure they are a teacher as it kills two birds with one stone; you can tick the fantasy off your “things to do before I die” list, as well as earning a thousand cool points in the process. Just think, you won’t be dating anyone who falls onto the attractiveness scale at anything lower than a 7 anymore. Life win.

By: Laura Hindley – @LauraHindley2

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